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The Invitational 2004
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The Invitational 2004
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This years prize, The Usbob Chomp

The Usbob Invitational was held on beans and sprouts. (not really) The 5th years turned up and we were going to tell them to shove it but AAFC started playing them so what the hell, why not. T'was windy and wet and sunny and windy and wet again then pissin it down and cold then sunny again. The ground dirty to say the least and Warnii had new boots. And the pishy orange strips were replaced by "blue"
Usbob 2-3 Bawsak
Wee Neds 4-0 AAFC
Usbob 3-2 AAFC
Wee Neds 2-0 Bawsak
Usbob 0-3 Wee Neds
Bawsak 2-0 AAFC
Bawsak Vs Wee Neds

1.        Games shall last 40mins

2.        Players shall not exceed 19 years of age with exception to Jamies Fuds only, whose age limit is 21, cos theyre fuds. (not playing)

3.        14 players per team, 3 rolling substitutes to come on outside 18 yard box in dead-ball situations.

4.        Teams are only allowed 3 players from league clubs

5.        3 points win, 1 point draw, 0 points lose. Any league placing disputes will be settled accordingly.

6.        Flash photography is banned behind the goalmouth.

7.        Burberry hats, sacks and scarves are not allowed.

8.        The brim of hats at an angle should not exceed 20 from the horizontal.

9.        There shall be no upper weight limit for players but the minimum weight limit shall be measured as 4 score and 6 ounces.

10.     Salted nuts will not be regarded as a legal snack.

11.     When not playing in a match, you should not play.

12.     Golf is not regarded as a form of free kick.

13.     Each team will provide at least 2 balls.

14.     Helmets will not be worn, for safety reasons.

15.     You will provide your own half-time entertainment.

16.     Fat players will be rationed to 5 pies per match.

17.     Usbob will not be responsible for any loss of property or person.

18.     The Penalty spot will not be marked with a scented candle, but maybe puddles. (weather permitting).

19.     If you have a problem, talk to Jamie "The Hunter" Hunter "Gatherer".

20.     If a team does not turn up, Usbob are given 3 points wither they are playing or not.

21.     Running spikes and climbing boots are not regarded as "safe" forms of footwear.

22.     Fishing rods shall not exceed 12ft in length.

23.     Usbob will not provide referees or sticky toffee puddings.

24.     The winning team will receive a mounted Chomp for winning.

25.  In the interest of sportsmanship teams should be roughly the same as last year. Only 2 players should play with a proper club and no players under contract of a professional club, youth or otherwise, should play.


TEAMS      (* means maybe playing)


USBOB FC            BAWSAK                          AAFC


Lroy                      Ali B                                 TBA

Rab                       Shaun Logan

Ross                      Tommy Boax

Cambo                  Andy Ashton

Mark                     John Baker

James!                  DJ

Warnii                   Docz

Frig                       Harry

Steve                    McGill

M.Dodds               Gibby

J. Dodds*              Carruth

Gillman                Jamie Clark



The Wife


Ross B

                     W    L    D    F    A    Pts
Wee Neds*   3     0     0    9     0      8
Bawsak        2     1     0    5     4       6
Usbob           1      2    0     5     8     3
AAFC           0     3    0     1     9      0
(*): 1 Pnt deducted for not being invited
(): 1 goal removed for being diving cheatin' bast*rds (i'm not saying what game from though)
AAFC: Broke rules 1& 2
Wee Neds: Broke rules 3,4,7,8 & 25


Gordon Dawson