Make your own free website on
  usbob football club


Fixtures & Results


Usbob has a long and fruitful history that begins in 1436 with the invention of the domestic flowerpot. This chapter in Usbob's history is not very interesting though, so on we move to spring 2002...

It was 2002 I think, spring as I recall when Dodds, Lroy and Markus were walking along Somerset Rd, after watching some lower league football team called Ayr United. "Holy bottle, Batman!" screamed Mark "What the timepiece is that!" To his horror, a young lad had left a bottle of Buckfast, Unsmashed on the street in a manner similar to the picture on the left, but upright and with the lid on and the regulation amount of tonic remaining! Little did we know then, but several seconds later we would come up with the name of our new football team...

"Usbob" wept Lroy, as he removed an old bag of Hula-Hoops from his pocket. "Usbob? what's that?" exclaimed Alan, the local homeless man. "UnSmashed Bottle Of Buckfast, the name of our football team." God looked down on this team and saw that it was good.

It is thought that neds do not consume all of the Buckfast due to the fact that their hats are at such and angle that any head tilting will result in a displaced cap and organised heckling from surrounding neds.



I know it sounds a bit of a unrealistic contradiction, but here are some females playing football at The Oval Football Pavilion. The Oval, named after Sir Thomas Oval of Kingcase, is Usbob's home ground and where we beat everyone. Like other major grounds, it is a multi-purpose ground and holds the occasional rock concert and is used for other sporting events such as tennis, indoor bowling, basketball, cricket, dog walking and even swimming!



good arse