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There questions were made up by Dougie. No-one knows who Dougie is.

Milk: Skimmed, Semi-skimmed or whole?

Diving: Deep sea or snorkelling.
Definitely Deep Sea Diving

French: Love of hate?

Who shot Mr Burns?

Tenacious D: Legends or untalented b****rds?
Total Legends

Best bit in 'Titanic?'


Kate Winslet on the sofa

Favourite number?

Trees: 'Pretty' or a waste of good wood!?
Not sure really

Christina Aguilera: Dirty or "Oh, Good Arse!"?
Oh Good Arseand legs etc.

Favourite see-through material: Glass, perspex or wet, white t-shirts?
Tight!, see through PVC. None of this t-shirt pish!

Where abouts?
On Jennifer Gibson, or Susan Beggan. Im not Fussy. Nice.

Favourite Ayrshire village?
Monkton, blink and youll miss it.

What is green, spiky and rolls down hills on windy days?
A Christmas tree

Who's your football idol?
Dodds, the guys a legend

Any pre-match superstitions?
To be last one to go on the pitch and come off.

Where is Shergar?
Who cares

DVDs or VHS?

In 5 words, describe yourself.
Nice Guy Who Understands Women (5) ( I Think )

When was your first snorkelling experience?
I prefere deep sea diving and other under water experiments

Snorkelling just aint my thing.

Why do you like your position?
Feels Comfortable

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Roast Beef

What team do you support? Why?
The Killie. First game I went to was Killie v Dundee Utd. Just Sticked.

Who is your favourite apple-eater?


It never pasted my mind

Baillie: Cool or freak?
Curly Freak

When did you last make pottery?
Thats illegal is it not?

Neds: Love or hate?

When was the last time you ran 500 miles?
Couple of days ago pulled my groin.

Could you have run 500 more?
Probably not

I have a belly button, do you?
I do indeed

What's your favourite cutlery?

What's your favourite weather?
Horizontal Hail Stones.

What's your favourite alcoholic beverage?
A Millers always good. Aftershock gets u drunk easier.

What's your favourite non-alcoholic beverage?
Irn - Bru..Scotlands beverage or Red Bull

If you were stranded on a desert island for one week...
What one person would you take?

Im torn between a lot of people. Theres Susan and Carolyn,
Possibly Jennifer. Do you have to take just one?

Three items would you take?
Beer, Beer, and a woman.

Do you like Jimmy Hill?


Thongs or pants...
On woman?


On you?


On Big Jamie Hunter?

I love to see him in a bit lace

Tweedie Tweedier Tweediest