Milk: Skimmed, Semi-skimmed or whole?
Whole

Diving: Deep sea or snorkelling.
Snorkling

French: Love of hate?
Hate. Theyre just so kinda creepy!

Who shot Mr Burns?
I think it was Smithers

Tenacious D: Legends or untalented b****rds?
Legends

Best bit in 'Titanic?'
In the "Shaggin Wagon" bit.

Favourite number?
7

Trees: 'Pretty' or a waste of good wood!?
A waste of good wood!

Christina Aguilera: Dirty or "Oh, Good Arse!"?
" Oh, Good Arse!"

Favourite see-through material: Glass, perspex or wet, white t-shirts?
The T-shirt one!

Where abouts?
The third right on the M25.

Favourite Ayrshire village?
Eh Monkton?

What is green, spiky and rolls down hills on windy days?
A really thin Celtic fan (prick!)

Who's your football idol?
Ally McCoist

Any pre-match superstitions?
Yes.

Where is Shergar?
In a can of Pedigree Chum probably.

DVDs or VHS?
VHS

In 5 words, describe yourself.
I'm Bohemian Rhapsody on legs!

Why do you like your position?
Score the goals!

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Egg

What team do you support? Why?
Glasgow Rangers, because theyre my team.

Who is your favourite apple-eater?
Biting Broking

Baillie: Cool or freak?
Hes a cool freak!

When did you last make pottery?
Last June.

Neds: Love or hate?
Hate

When was the last time you ran 500 miles?
Last June, on the lay-by after the third right on the M25.

Could you have run 500 more?
No.

I have a belly button, do you?
Yes

What's your favourite cutlery?
Fork.

What's your favourite weather?
Sun

What's your favourite alcoholic beverage?
Miller.

What's your favourite non-alcoholic beverage?
Water

If you were stranded on a desert island for one week...

What one person would you take?

A hot girl with a "Good Arse"!

What three items would you take?
A Boat, a football and a pair of socks.

Do you like Jimmy Hill?
No

Thongs or pants...

On woman? Thong
On you? Pants
On Big Jamie Hunter? Hmmmm..dont know.